Is it really bad for us, or propoganda?

Got into somewhat of a heated argument yesterday with a couple of folks about the dangers of Monsato in our world...specifically, as it applies to our food supply. They were insisting that there was "nothing wrong" with GMOs, and that it was just a bunch of propaganda generated by conspiracy theorists and fear mongers. Here is how I feel about the whole thing...

I was slammed, because when asked for citation for one of my arguments, I happened to pick a paper co-written by a person who the debater said was a crack who knew nothing about the subject matter. Now, I'm not familiar with the paper co-writter, and explained that I chose that citation because it directly supported what could have very well happened to me personally!

Here is the background. I am currently "allergic" to wheat. I don't really call it a gluten-intolerance, because I find that I only have symptoms when I consume wheat specifically. Oats and the like are fine. If I have wheat in small amounts (such as the coating on a piece of fried fish), I'm okay for the most part, but I do get gassy (sorry if TMI). However, if I have a full serving of wheat...say, like a slice of pizza on normal crust, or sandwich with two slices of bread, or a bowl of cereal containing wheat...my stomach pain is so intense that I just want to curl up in a ball and cry! I will feel nauseated, and the effects will stay with me for at least 24 hours!

The paper I cited expressed concern that Round-Up (specifically the chemical glyphosate) used very commonly in the the process of growing GMO crops (as these crops have been specifically engineered to be immune to the weed-killing effects of glyphosate) is linked to the increase of Celiac and gluten-intolerance. Now, one truly cannot deny that these conditions have been on the rise in the last decade! The paper stated that it was believed that the glyphosate was killing off good bacteria in the digestive track that serve several important functions, such as metabolizing things we ingest and helping the body absorb nutrients correctly (Celiac is a condition where the body cannot absorb nutrients if the person consumes gluten...these people can become very ill if they eat wheat, because it causes them to be malnourished).

When the debater called the co-writer of this paper a freak, I had to point out that it was very plausible, and here is why. I pointed out that my issue started in my 30's...about 10 years ago. The first crops approved for general human consumption didn't come into play until 1994. Since that time, their use have increased year over year, especially as more products were modified. Wheat and corn were among the first crops. Today, you also have soy, peanuts, rice, even potatoes! You look at the fact that I had NO wheat sensitivity at all prior to my 30's, and the timeline of GMO introduction into the general food supply and the use of glyphosate increasing, it is VERY plausible that this is what caused my wheat allergy, and the increase in gluten-intolerance and Celiac, are linked! I said that if GMO and glyphosate increased used started in the 60's, and I was exposed to it my whole life and only started having problems in my 30's, then one could question the link. But the timeline fits!

So, is the whole thing just propaganda? 

Here is my stance on things like this. Monsanto is trying really hard to convince everyone that GMOs and glyphosate are safe...so much so that they are doing all they can to block mandatory GMO labeling on foods so that people can make informed decisions for themselves! Now, my experience in life has been, if a company is pushing so hard that something is safe, chances are it isn't. I mean, remember Splenda? Oh, when it came out it was soooooo safe! It was the answer to all our prayers! It was safe for diabetics, it was zero calorie, etc. Well, turns out, it is actually a very bad thing for diabetics to consume, because it affects how the body responds to insulin! There is also this long laundry list of other problems. So, when a company like Monsanto works so hard to convince me something is safe, that is an instant red flag!

I was accused during the argument of ignoring science, that science has proven GMOs safe. Okay...on one side we have scientists saying it is safe. On the other, we also have other scientists saying it is not safe. Hmmm, which am I to believe? Either side can be right or wrong. So what will I do in every case? I will side with unsafe! Why, you may ask? Because I would rather err on the side of caution. I would rather remove that thing from my diet and find out 10-20 years from now that it was perfectly safe and I could have been eating it the entire time, than continue eating it, and find out 10-20 years from now after I already have some irreversible SERIOUS condition (you know, like cancer) and the people claiming the product unsafe were right!

It is also for this reason that I fully support labeling, and truth in labeling!! Now, I'm not asking for some huge sticker on the front of my cereal box saying it has GMOs in it. No...a notation under the ingredient list will be enough...just like the current "May contain nuts, wheat, soy, or milk" notations. Those of us who truly care about what we eat actually read those labels. Those who don't care, will continue to blindly pluck the products off the shelves as they already do! It is that simple! "But we will lose revenue because of all the fuss made AGAINST GMOs!" Really? No, you won't! Why? Because the percentage of people who actually care that much about what they eat and will be deterred by those labels is actually way smaller than the ACTUAL percentage of the population that voted for Trump (remember, some 40+% of the population didn't even vote...and yes, I had to throw in that dig)!

Oh, and science. I fully support science! We would not be where we are today with technological or medical advances without science! One thing to remember; however, not all science is "good" science. How many times have results been "altered" to protect a corporation, and it was later determined that the results published were wrong, because someone got paid off? Also, while you have someone on one side of the fence trying to find the cure for cancer, you have someone on the other side of the fence discovering the latest biological weapon that could potentially wipe out millions of people! That is why you saying in an argument that you are a scientist is not going to change my way of thinking! I don't personally know you...I don't know what side of the fence you work on! Oh, and if you work pharm? Oh, that will make me leery of you from the get go! I have strong reasons to not trust most doctors and the pharms!

Some may call me a hippie!

With everything going on in this country right now, I'm compelled to put something down in writing...thoughts that bump around in my head with everything I read.

I'm not a Republican....I'm not a Democrat. I don't consider myself a liberal or a conservative. I also don't consider myself a feminist. What I am is an independent woman of probably better than normal means (for the most part, though I'm still working through debt from my failed marriage...but I'm able to do so and still have a life). I am someone who believes in common sense and actually thinking...yes, I do consider myself to be rather intelligent...not in a conceited way, but just because I can recognize that I don't think like other people, and problem solving comes easy to me.

I apologize now if this gets long!

WOMEN'S RIGHTS

Like I said, I'm not a feminist. I am independent. This is mostly due to the fact that I learned by watching my mother's life growing up that you can't depend on a man! My dad is a good man...a great man! My stepdad is a good man, as well. Some of my mother's choices in between...um...not so much. It was these men who quickly taught me that I needed to make sure I could take care of myself! And it is a good thing I learned this lesson! My first husband was too busy drinking, smoking pot, and womanizing to help me with the household. Couldn't even get the SOB to pay a measly $100/month in child support after we divorced! Had I not already built a foundation to work off of, I would have been it trouble being a single mom to 2 kids!

My second husband wasn't as bad as the first. Yes, he still ended up cheating on me...a few times. Unlike my first husband, he actually did work, but he didn't have drive like I did. When it came to advancing in our careers over the 15 years we were together, I did so at a much faster pace than he did. I attribute this mostly to the fact that I stayed put! While he bounced from job to job looking for "satisfaction", I toughed it out and made the most of my job. I made one job move our entire marriage, and that was because I was recruited by another company, where I am still...11 years later. I also have my degree, while he dropped out of college after his first year, and never went back. I know he resented me for that. Through our entire marriage, I carried us financially (oh, he was good as spending and opening lines of credit, but again, wasn't getting the raises and promotions to cover them). When it came to stuff around the house, not only was I expected to do the cooking, cleaning, and dealing with the kids (the traditional woman tasks), but I was also the one who cut the grass, picked up trash from the yard, fixed things around the house, etc. I could ask him about a repair or work several times..."I'll get to it." It wasn't until I finally got tired of it not being done 2 MONTHS later and started doing it myself, that he would get up off that couch and cry that I didn't need him...that he said he would do it! I also handled all the finances...paying the bills, doing the taxes, etc.

At the same time, he EXPECTED me to fulfill his sexual desires on his every whim! He would complain if I didn't dress up for him in the bedroom. He would grab on me all the time, even when I protested. When I did protest, I was told something to the tune of we were married, and he could do what he wanted. When I lost a lot of weight, he used to get offended because I would not get a boob job "for him" (after I lost the weight, I went back to the A cups I had all through my younger years...my normal size). He even commented sometimes that my body was actually his, because we were married.

When we divorced, my second husband tried to claim that I stuck him with more debt...I mean obviously, because I was doing so much better than he was. Nope! I actually walked away with more debt! I just made more money that he knew I made (because I had to stop telling him about raises, as if he found out there was more money coming in, he would find a way to spend it), and I'm way better at budgeting that he is!

So yeah...now I live alone. I have a man in my life...one who is actually good with money...and has is shit together! I don't expect him to take care of me! When we go out, we typically split the bill in half, and never squabble about who got what and one person's meal cost more. Sometimes mine is more, sometimes his is more...doesn't matter! He holds my hand, walks on the street side of the sidewalk (many don't know that this is the gentlemanly thing to do), opens doors for me, etc. I'll cook something at home, and always put some aside and take it to him, and he will compliment me on the food later while he is eating it. We have managed to merge traditional roles with us both being independent, and this actually works very, very well as a partnership! He very much respects me, as I do him.

I share all this as the foundation of why I feel the way I do about women's rights (hey...already apologized for this being long). I don't believe that women should have more than men...we are not the lesser or greater sex! I DO believe that we are EQUAL! We should get equal pay for equal work. We should be treated with respect, not like sexual object or a piece of property! In a relationship/marriage, no one owns anyone! It should be viewed as a partnership! I expect that my health insurance should cover those things that women need, including birth control! If we are expected to protect ourselves, and the means to do so must involve a doctor visit or a prescription, then insurance sure as hell better cover it! I want affordable health care! I get it! Women need more things checked than guys, and some of these checks are a little on the pricey side. That doesn't mean that we should be denied access to these services. I want men to be held just as accountable to their children as women!! Any woman who has been to court trying to get their child's father to do their part knows this struggle well. It is so easy for a man to walk away from his kids, thus leaving the burden on the woman!

Sure, we have come a long way, but this current administration has me fearing backwards steps instead of forward...and for this reason I support women's rights! It also pains me that funding for Violence Against Women Grants may get cut this administration!

ENVIRONMENT AND FOOD SUPPLY

This is where some may play the hippie card on me. I feel very strongly about availability of nourishing and CLEAN food. I believe in sustainable farming. I believe in helping farmers produce the best crops possible for the population...crops free of chemicals. I believe in clean water supplies for the people. I believe in the outlawing of chemicals (dyes, preservatives, etc.) that have been proven to have harmful health effects. All of this means protecting the environment, as well! We have to protect our farmlands and our water supplies!

THIS is the problem I have with the Dakota pipeline, and why I am so upset that has been released to move forward! The builders can offer no guarantee that cracks will not emerge in the pipeline allowing oil to escape into the water supply that it will be routed under. This is especially important as earthquakes are happening more and more, and in areas not typically prone to them, due to fracking! Just look at Oklahoma. The main danger this area used to have to face was tornadoes. Last year, there were earthquakes in Oklahoma so strong they were felt down in Texas! If you look at earthquake prediction maps, you see that Oklahoma is now as likely to experience a severe earthquake as California!! This did not start happening until fracking in Oklahoma!

If you don't think we humans can adversely affect the environment, you are naive! I've actually heard some Christians (and I'm a non-practicing Catholic...so don't even get me started) argue that there is no way God would make it so easy for us to destroy the Earth. However, we have scientific proof that we are hurting the planet! It aches me that there are potential proposed budget cuts to the Department of Energy surrounding things such as research for renewable and clean energy which would reduce our dependence on foreign oil. The administration have also taken recent actions with regards to the EPA that are very concerning!

EDUCATION AND THE ARTS

Don't even get me started on Betsy Devos! This woman is NOT qualified to head up education! I can't help but feel this administration just wants to dumb down the population, and stomp out free thinking. Add to this proposed budget cuts for the arts...because the administration doesn't feel the arts are important. Forget that it has been scientifically proven that arts study opens pathways in the brain that would otherwise remain closed, enhancing a person's ability to learn and problem solve. This is why arts and science is often grouped together. Without the arts, we would not have advanced in science and technology as we have! The two go hand and hand.

If the administration wants to make America a greater place (I word it that way, because the other is up for trademark), you have to educate the people! An educated people are a strong people! The more educated people a country has, the stronger that country is. Hell, look at the domination of Japan in so many areas! Why are they so strong in technology and the likes? Because they value education HIGHLY! Why do you see so many Asians in this country in high tech and scientific fields? Because they come from a culture that values education highly! Education is essential! Oh, and guess what, most Asian children are also required by their parents to study the arts, because they get it!


EQUALITY

This is a big one for me! We need to put an end to racism and discrimination!  I don't care what color your skin is, what religion you practice, who you desire as a sexual partner, if you are tall or short, curvy or slim....you are human, and I will love and respect you as such! The only way one can lose my respect is to disrespect me...and even then, that only applies to that particular person, and not any of the people groups they may be part of! I don't respect my ex husbands, but that is because they disrespected me. It isn't because they are men...it is because they personally wronged me!

And because I respect a person, doesn't mean that I condone what they do! I can respect that we will agree to disagree on many things. My respect does not have to mean that I give in to other people...that I'm weak. It means that I understand they have every right to live on this planet and be happy as I do. Now, granted, this does not apply to criminals who do harm to others. That is one way to lose my respect instantly! You harm another person, you deserve the justice that comes down on you! Can you be reformed? Can you repent? Possibly, but until then, you deserve the punishment that comes down!

But I believe in looking for the good in people. When I look at you, I don't see your skin, the clothes you are wearing. I look for how you hold yourself! Are you a person who is kind to others? Are you a person who can be depended on to be true to your word? These are the things that matter to me.

CONCLUSION

Again, I said this would be long! When I voted, these are the things I voted for! Yes, I voted 3rd party, because neither major party could match my values on most of my concerns. There are many who say that was a vote for the current administration, or that I threw away my vote. I have to disagree! If more people were actually brave enough to vote their true heart, we probably would not be in this boat today! People were bullied this election...some voted the way they did out of fear of not being accepted by their own family if they voted their own heart. Some didn't vote at all for similar reasons...it is easier to say you didn't vote than admit who you voted for! We need to stand up and take our country back! We need to be the land of the brave and the home of the free!

Problem With Today's Relationships

As I see these memes and stuff posted to my social media, I think I have discovered the problem with today's relationships. I don't think we value relationships like we used to!! We have totally changed the terminology in a way that degrades and abbreviates what a relationship should be.

For example:

"Fuck with" - Why are people referring to their boyfriends and girlfriends as someone they "fuck with"? In my day, if I was fucking with someone, I wasn't being serious! "No...I didn't mean that! I was just fucking with you!" Sorry, my boyfriend is not someone I "fuck with"! He is someone I love and cherish...someone who since meeting, I can't imagine my life without! His being in my life is a very serious thing, as I don't just let myself get close to anyone!

"Bae" - I mean...what the hell?! I know what it means...but why can't you just say what the person is to you? Sure, we all have nicknames for our partners...my boyfriend and I call each other "babe"...it is just something that is is more endearing than calling each other by name. It's something that shows that we are on a different level with each other than the rest of the world. But if posting about something he did or something we are doing together, I'm not going to abbreviate what he means to me?! I'm not going to say, "Look what bae got me for my birthday"! No, I'm going to say something like, "Look what that WONDERFUL man of mine got me for my birthday"! If I'm posting about date night, it's going to be something like, "Having a great time with this handsome guy"! I'm going o brag about what he is to me, not minimize it to 3 little letters!

And seriously, it is sad that we live in a day and age when you have to actually sit down and have "the talk" that you see the relationship as "exclusive". We live in a day where people are too busy looking for the next best thing, that they want to keep relationships open...and only be monogamous after "the talk"...than to go into a relationship from the get go thinking, "Okay, let's really get to know this person, and see where things go". Sure, my boyfriend and I had "the talk"...but only because you have to in this day and age, because you want to make sure that the other person is on the same page as you are! We were two weeks in when we had "the talk". But even before "the talk", it was already understood...we weren't seeing other people. Neither of us are the kind of people who have a little black book, so to speak, with booty call numbers. We were looking for that one person to connect with...the one who would become our best friend, and partner in crime!

We need to get back to old fashioned relationship values! I put up with a cheating spouse for way longer than I probably should have, because I believe in relationships! The woman he was cheating with when we split was not the first one....she was just the final straw! I forgave him completely the first time. The second time, I wanted to forgive complete...really tried...but twice burned, I kept wondering. Sure enough, he then cheated a third time, and I couldn't hold on any more to something that just wasn't! The guy I'm with now, I can truly say that whatever our relationship is, I just want him as my partner in life! I'm not in a rush to get married, though I would love nothing more than to wake up to him every morning. I love him and value him, and I know a relationship is like a plant that needs to be nurtured to grow. It's not something you can force...and hearts are not something you play...or fuck...with. He is not just some abbreviation...he is so much more to me than words can even express!

And I think this whole thing bleeds into how we treat each other in general. I mean, if we are not letting ourselves truly connect and love a person who is supposed to be a partner, how can we expect to try to connect and show love and respect to anyone else at even a lesser level? If our mate is just someone we "fuck with"...what is our neighbor...or friend...that person you see crying in the store because they are buying an outfit for a funeral they never expected to have to attend?! If your mate is just someone you "fuck with"....there is no room for compassion for anyone else!

Misunderstanding About the Affordable Care Act

Okay....I need to put this out there, because I get the feeling some folks do not understand how the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) actually works. This Act does many things....some of it I agree with, some of it I don't, some of it I think could use some work. I will say up front, that I've never agreed with penalizing people who do not have insurance, because some people simply can't afford it even under the Act. My daughter is one of those...her employer doesn't offer her insurance, but the monthly payments for insurance under Obamacare is still too high for her. She gets penalized every year for this. However, two things that I do think were good with the act is the ability for parents to keep their dependents on their policies until age 26 regardless of their school status, and insurance companies being forced to cover pre-existing conditions. The latter is of specific interest to me, because if I have a break in coverage for any reason...under the old way where pre-existing conditions could be denied...I could potentially be denied coverage for my asthma upon resuming coverage. There are many people out there with existing conditions that are things they cannot control...and this was crucial to their being able to afford their medical care. The part that needs work is the "clearinghouse" so to speak. Many people think that their tax dollars are being used to pay for the actual healthcare of people on the program. WRONG! Where tax dollars come in are in subsidies paid to help offset the cost of the INSURANCE for people on Obamacare. When one signs up for insurance under this act, they are actually enrolling into many of the same insurance providers you and I enroll into through our employers...if insurance is offered. Scott & White, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, etc. Much like our employer may cover part or all of our insurance premium, so do these government subsidies based on a person's income level. The insurance isn't cheap! I looked into it last year inputting information for my ex, so I would have information to give him a the time of our divorce. For himself and his daughter, the CHEAPEST insurance was about $180/month...and that was with a deductible so high that the insurance would have never really kicked in! People are screaming that the rates are spiking under Obamacare. Well, yes and no. Insurance premium rates have been going up for years!!! I'm currently paying about three times as much as I did 20 years ago for less than half the coverage!! For the same coverage I had 20 years ago, I would now have to pay about $500/month for just me, and that would be after my employer's contribution! Over the years, I've had to reduce my coverage just to be able to continue to afford my insurance. That is the no part. The yes part is that Obamacare has influenced the increase in rates, but ONLY because the insurance companies are being force to cover things they could deny before, and are being forced to cover less-healthy people. They are still making huge profits (just look at how much their CEOs are making)! So what are they doing? They are jacking up the price of insurance!! Big pharmaceutical also has play in this, as they have been jacking up the prices of much needed medicine, thus also requiring the insurance companies to have to pay out more. I'm sure you all recall the news about Epi-Pen not that long ago. Now, here is something else that people are obviously not getting....birth control. Under most insurance plans, women have access to "free" birth control...though, it really isn't free when you consider they have to carry insurance under federal law or be fined at tax time, and it is the insurance covering this birth control. I've seen these posts about, "Well, be an adult and pay for your own birth control!!" They are already being adults in paying for the insurance that is covering this birth control!!! Problem is, that now, a repeal of the Act could mean that they cannot afford insurance, and thus will not have coverage! And no, birth control is not only about being able to have sex and not get pregnant! There are many, many women out there with hormone imbalances...I'm one of them! With all the chemicals and stuff in our food supplies, this is becoming a bigger deal. Those who have never dealt with said imbalances have no clue what life is like for us!! Some of the many things we have to live with: - Disabling pain every month. We are not talking your normal cramps. We are talking pain that could compete with that of labor pains, so intense that all you want to do is curl up in a ball in your bed and cry all day. Pain that no Midol will ever get rid of. But you can't curl up in your bed, you have to be an adult and move on, while through the day everything between your rib cage and knees hurts...because yes, the cramps are soooo bad they are causing every muscle in your back and the top of your legs to also cramp up! - Disabling migraines...and we are not only talking once a month. No, these nasty headaches that feel like your head is going to explode while making you want to throw up and crawl into a dark cave can happen at ANY time...without warning. I've had one hit me so bad that I dropped to my knees right there on my floor grabbing my head. I seriously though I may have been having an aneurysm! I fell asleep right there on the floor about an hour, and when I had awaken, the pain had subsided only enough for me to crawl to my bed to sleep the rest of the day. - Insomnia! Yes, until I found a way to balance out my hormones, I spent YEARS only getting maybe 3-4 hours of sleep on a good night! This naturally caused other health issues, as my body was always worn down. There is nothing worse than laying there in bed for hours yawning...feeling sooooooo tired...yet, no matter how long you lay there with your eyes closed, your body simply refuses to drift off to sleep. - Inability to eat or drink anything. Though, I've never had this myself, I have a friend who regularly went through this. Nothing she put in her stomach would stay there, not even water. This would go on for at least 2-3 days! And that is just for those not trying to prevent pregnancy! Many of these same people who are screaming for a woman to pay for her own birth control, also want to tell her she can't have an abortion! Seems to me, the best way to lower the abortion rates is to prevent unwanted pregnancy! Come on...be realistic...people are NOT going to stop having sex! Just isn't happening! Men have two options...condoms or sterilization. Condoms do not require anything from a doctor, as they do not actually affect anything in the body...and face it, not many men out there actually get sterilized! On the flip side, EVERY birth control option a woman has requires a doctor! Even the pill...a doctor has to prescribe the right dosage of hormones as to not mess a woman up. All other methods require some sort of day-surgery medical procedure be performed...again, not cheap, because doctors, nurses, anesthesiologists, etc. all get involved. Women are also stuck between a rock and a hard place. Here we are told that if we don't want to get pregnant, it is our responsibility to protect ourselves...we have to be in control of our own bodies, by the way. At the same time, women are being told that they are not really in control of our own bodies, that we shouldn't be allowed to do this and that...and we are being told this by men who I can promise you have used the line, "If you love me, you will have sex with me" at least once in their life to pressure a woman into bed with them! I know this is long, but hear me out! And if this turns into an argument about abortion..."oh, so it is okay to murder an unborn child"...I will promptly delete this! I will say this on that issue...for me...myself...I am pro-life. I would never abort a child. I would rather put it up for adoption. HOWEVER, I am also realistic enough to know that a desperate woman will do anything they have to if they find themselves pregnant and they don't want to be. Before Roe v Wade, women were having back alley abortions, and dying because they would bleed out or catch a terrible infection because of unclean tools. I don't want to go back to that! Having dead women on top of dead babies is not the answer! Education and providing women the tools they need to not be in that position is the answer!! And yes, I would rather see that desperate woman in a clean medical facility than a back alley even if I don't agree with what she is doing. It isn't my place to force what I believe on her! I'm not in her shoes...I don't know the circumstances. That is all I'm going to say on THAT topic. What women are afraid of now is that they will still be forced to pay for this insurance, while at the same time NOT have coverage for their birth control, and have to pay for it out of pocket ON TOP OF their premiums. Even the cost of an IUD is not cheap! And for the record, I had sterilization surgery nearly 20 years ago after I knew I was done having children. At that time, it was covered 100% under my insurance. Under my policy today, I would have to pay the first $1,500, and then the insurance would only cover 80% of the cost after that! This is what is happening to women! We are expected to take care of this ourselves, yet the cost for doing so is growing out of our reach! And that, my friends, is really what is at stake here with healthcare. If the Act is repealed...women will be left uninsured and/or lose their birth control coverage which yes...it is our responsibility because we surely cannot depend a man to put a condom on it! On top of that, thousands, maybe millions, of other Americans will go without insurance! Some, like my daughter, are still without insurance even under the Act! She has things she needs to have looked at, but she will not go to the doctor, because she can't afford to...and I don't have the money to lend her to do it! It breaks my heart to know that one of my children is not getting medical care because big medicine has pushed care out of her reach! THIS is what is at stake, people!

One Year Of Freedom!!!

This weekend marks one year since I broke free, and was finally allowed to just be me! In celebration, I post what I call my ex's anthem!

Diary of a Mad White Woman Part II

Yes...I am posting two days in a row...and I'm still mad! Seriously...why are we at this place?! I pointed out in a social media post that what scares me the most is that a single party will control all three branches of our government. I pointed out that this just opens the doors for party agendas to be pushed, and that has always been a dangerous thing! We must have some differing opinions for there to be adequate checks and balances! What response did I get? Oh...that it has happened before, and we survived...and basically called a socialist for pointing this out! WTF?! I was told to refresh myself on my history!

Okay...this person wants to look at history?! In the late 1920's, when the Republicans controlled all branches of government, we sank into the Great Depression! In the 2000's when Republicans again controlled all branches of government for the first time in 70 some-odd years, we went into the what has been called the Great Recession AND we were attacked by terrorists on American soil, potentially because key intel was missed!

Now, there have been several periods in between all that when the Democrats have controlled the Presidency and Congress. In many of those periods we saw scandals (Clinton, for example...the assassination of JFK which many now think was orchestrated by JFK, etc., During Carter, we basically created the Taliban that totally nipped us in the ass later). Though no term has been perfect, we seem to see less crisis when the various branches are split between the two parties, and there is some checks and balances! You don't have Congress just going with what the President says and vice-versa...you have someone asking tough questions that may or may not change the outcome!

I point out this fact as I am neither Democrat nor Republican...I'm for whatever is best for this country! I've always voted the lesser of evils, and for who I thought was better for the job based on the issues at hand! I am fearful that our POTUS-elect is not ready to deal with foreign affairs. I may be wrong, but brokering a few business deals over seas does not qualify you to negotiation peace treaties! I'm also concerned about the amount of hate that he spewed on the election trail...hate that has NO PLACE in a time when tensions are high within the borders of our own country! Racial tension is the highest I've seen it since the 80's! One thing I've seen and heard from others about since the election results is people of color looking at those of us who are white differently...some in fear, some in anger. They really don't know who voted for the POTUS-elect and who didn't. I wan to look at them and say, "I'm on YOUR side! I didn't vote for the man!" I can only hope that in the days leading up to inauguration, that Obama can help Trump see that this country needs healing...that there are some real issues within our own borders that may require him to be a little more compassionate and flexible with his agenda. All these people calling for the wall he promised...really, that wall is not the best thing for race relations! The promise to stop immigration of Muslims? I understand that there are a lot of radicals out there who want to do harm to us from the inside. I get that we may have to do further security screening...but if we do, it needs to be across the board, and not just singling out out one group! ANYONE could be a threat! ANYONE could be a sympathizer! At the same time, you can't automatically assume that everyone of a certain religion or skin color is going to do harm to this country! There has to be some balance, and it has to be addressed to the problem as a whole, and not just a people group! Hell, we could have radicals born right here on our own soil into families that have been here for 100+ years!

Seriously, people! Everyone needs to get off their high horses! We need healing! We need to be able to hug someone without it being weird. We need to learn to agree to disagree! I haven't even touched on all the ugly I've seen since the results came out...people unfriending each other because of how they voted (we are ALL entitled to our own opinions and beliefs)...ugly words said that cannot be taken back. Is this what we have come to?! Maybe I'm just a hippie or something, but I still believe in love!

Diary of a Mad White Woman!

I'm putting this here, because I have to let it out, and I know if I do so on social media, I will get slammed!

The results of yesterday's election are very disheartening! I've seen asked, "Did you expect women to vote for Clinton just because she is a woman?" Here is my answer to that.

I had hope that the women in this country had enough self-respect for themselves to NOT vote for a man who has demonstrated such a lack of respect for them! I lived 15...nearly 16...years with a man who expressed many of the same ideals as our President-elect! Here are some highlights of those years:

- I have been told, "I thought we had a RULE that you weren't allowed to wear anything to bed, unless it was that time of the month!"

- "You NEVER listen to me!" (And not intended to mean that I wasn't sympathetic to his feeling, that I didn't do as he said.)

- "You are my wife, and I should be able to grab you whenever I want!"

- If my now ex-husband had come home late in the middle of the night, he expected that he should be allowed to initiate sex with me, without first waking me up to see if I even wanted to!

- When I started defying him, and coloring my hair the way I wanted to, getting a tattoo, losing weight (he is the kind of man who likes them bigger), my now ex-husband started looking elsewhere, ultimately leaving me for another woman who had the same features I did before "waking up", and who was much more subservient to him!

This same man once handed me this book, and told me to read it:

Me? Obey? Him?

When I had a friend of mine return it to him with some stuff of his after the divorce (she worked with him), the comment my now ex-husband made was, "Well, maybe if she read it, we would still be married!"

THIS is why I am mad! I have worked my ass off to get where I am! I am not a kept woman...I don't need keeping! Now, I do have a special man in my life, and I am thankful to say that he sees me more as his best friend and his partner than someone he needs to take control over! I don't consider myself a feminist...I do still like if my guy pulls the chair out for me or opens a door...I like when he insists I walk on the inside instead of the street side, as a gentleman should. I fix meals for him, and he will clean up after. We go out, and we split the check. And sure...I don't wear bras, but I'm one of those women who is too small to really wear one, and they only become an uncomfortable burden for something that isn't really serving a purpose!

We still have too many women out there who believe it is okay to be treated like an object rather than a person! It breaks my heart! I don't care what the Christian agenda is (and I do consider myself a Christian)...the government has no right to tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body! Oh, she is looked down upon for having an abortion, but it is perfectly okay for a man to walk away from his responsibility when a child is created! Yes, I said it! "But there are laws..." Really? And that has solved the problem of fatherless children? Let me tell you about those "laws"! I had a court order that said my first husband was to spend X amount of time with my child every month/year, and that he was to pay $XXX in child support every month to help provide what that child needed. If he or I failed to follow that order (i.e., if I failed to present the child for said visitation), we were to be found in contempt of court and forced to pay fines and/or serve time. Guess what happened? He started cancelling out visitations with my child, giving one excuse after the other, and I was left to pick up the pieces of a crying child who only wanted to see his father! He also stopped paying his child support, and when I tried to get the court order enforced, I was basically told by the courts that there was really nothing that could be done, because they couldn't get him properly served, but yet I was more than welcome to pay money out of my own pocket for a private process server and ask for those monies to be paid back to me by my ex which a judge could order!! Yes, I laughed at them about that, and told them, "I can't get the man to pay me $100/month in child support that is court ordered, and you think that I can get him to pay me my court costs if the judge orders him to do so?!" So you see, if a woman wants to walk away from the responsibility by terminating the pregnancy (and don't give me the "it's different, it's murder" argument), she is deemed a terrible person who is just trying to escape the consequences of her actions, but not the man who walks away from said child after it is born! 

Now, I'm not saying I would get an abortion. For myself, I'm pro-life...but I can't force my choices or opinions on others! Does anyone even remember that it was like before Roe v Wade? Let me refresh your memories a bit...a desperate woman is going to get an abortion whether it is legal or not!!! If you overturn Roe v Wade, you will be back to women having back-alley abortions and dying because they bled to death or contracted some terrible infection, and were afraid to go to the doctor for it because they knew they would be turned in for having an abortion! So, instead of still having dead babies, now we also have dead women!! Now, how Christian is that?! Just sayin'! And since I went there...what about the Christians' agenda to basically shut down Planned Parenthood because they provide abortions?! Guess what? Planned Parenthood is the only affordable means for womens' health for many women! You take away the means for women to gain access to birth control, you are going to have a whole lot more of those "back-alley" abortions on your hands! Seriously, you want to cut the number of abortions? Here are some tips:

1. Make birth control readily available to all who want it...and if that means handing it out for free, so be it!

2. Better sex education in schools, because really...the abstinence program just isn't going to cut it!

3. Hold men to the same standards with regards to bringing a child into this world as you are the women with your "anti-abortion" stance! It takes two to tango, baby! She didn't create that baby by sitting at home alone with her impure thoughts! Nope...so if you wouldn't let her walk away, don't let him do it, either! If more women actually believed that the man would step up and be a man, they wouldn't be so scared to bring a child into the world! I can't help but wonder what percentage of women who get an abortion do it because they simply "can't raise the child alone"!

Okay...I've beat that horse, so let's go on to the next. I'm tired of women putting themselves down! I'm guilty of it myself, because this society has it basically beat into us that we have to look a certain way to be beautiful!!! We have to be skinny, and our stomach has to be tight! We have to have big boobs AND a nice round ass! We are supposed to look like the women in the magazines, when really...thanks to Photoshop...even the women in the magazines don't look like the women in the magazines! I fight my own battle every day...like many women do! We all have something we don't like about ourselves. I had two kids, and I was way overweight for too long. I have stretch marks and saggy skin that I doubt will ever go away. I don't like it, and though I've worked my ass off to lose 80+ lbs...even though I wear clothes that are either a S or an XS...I still find myself looking in the mirror with disgust some days. Then, I have to snap myself out of it, and remind myself that I am beautiful...I have a wonderful man who, let's face it, has seen me naked many times and still wants me...as a partner and a lover! So who am I kidding, right?! But it is so very hard when you have people like our POTUS-elect! Men who have been literally caught rating women based on how they look! Sure, I get that everyone has their own idea of what attractive is, but that doesn't mean that someone else isn't beautiful because they don't fit what you find attractive! You might be surprised at what you find in someone who doesn't fit everything on your appearance checklist. You can't rate a person because of the way they look! I would seriously hate to see what rating I would get from POTUS-elect, seeing as I'm short, have no boobs, and have this left over skin from the weight loss! I'm not sure I would even rate on his scale! But I don't care, because I know I'm beautiful!

One thing that does scare me is all the advances made by women in this country, as well as those of minorities and LGBT+! I'm so afraid we are going to be pushed back into the dark ages of time, where hate reigns supreme! I've already touched on the comments made by POTUS-elect about women. There have also been so, so many things said about people of color and of other nationalities. We also know where both POTUS-elect and VPOTUS-elect stands on LGBT+ issues! Part of my problem as one who believes themself to be a Christian is all the hate toward LGBT+ and Muslims that so many Christians today spew! What about love? Seriously...WHAT ABOUT LOVE! I've read my Bible, and one thing that stands out crystal clear to me is that we are commissioned to LOVE! No...God DOES NOT hate the gays, Muslims, whatever...HE LOVES US ALL! So, how can the people...who claim to talk to God...be so hateful! They will stand in church and claim to have God's heart for this nation...for the world...but then turn right around and spew such hate! And people wonder why I don't go to church!

I feel a bit better getting all of that out, but I'm still scared to death! I hope I am wrong!

A message for the ladies out there....

I usually don't get into the political stuff, but I do have to something about all the crazy going on about what Donald Trump was caught saying on tape, and some of the backlash memes I've seen toward women....namely, this one:

Let me just give you one word: CONSENT!

Now, I surely don't consider myself a feminist! I love when my guy holds a door open for me, opens/closes the car door for me, plans dates deciding where we will be going and what we will be doing. I also take great pleasure in cooking for him (I love to cook, and I love when he tells me I did a great job with whatever I made).

That said, I still believe that my body is mine....even if he "puts a ring on it"! I spent nearly 16 years with a man who believed that because we were married, he was allowed to grope me whenever he wanted! I'm not talking about a cute pat on the butt as he walked by me in the kitchen, or a little heavy petting if we were alone and close where the feeling was certainly leading toward an intimate encounter. No...I'm talking in the car grabbing my boob just because...not being able to even so much as cuddle to watch a movie, because it ALWAYS turned into a grab-fest! When I expressed my dislike of him doing that...because it made me simply feel like a "piece of meat"...I was told that I should be happy that he found me sexy and wanted to touch me all the time!!!

On top of that, he tried to impose "rules" in the marriage...such as trying to say I had to sleep without panties unless it was that time of the month! He also thought when he worked late shifts that he should be allowed to initiate sex with me when I was out cold asleep and unable to consent to it...simply because I was his wife! In other words, he believed that me simply saying "I do" was a broad consent to allow him to do anything to my body he wanted!

And it didn't stop there! No...he was very selfish in the bedroom, who wanted every encounter to be like a porn video! He wanted me to dress up for him to show that I actually wanted to be with him. He wanted me to yell out things during sex and call him "daddy". Sorry, I have this terrible aversion to calling a lover "daddy" and having him call me his "dirty little girl"! With all the sickness in the world today, something about this seems soooooo wrong!

I felt so relieved and free to be out of that marriage!! I have since met someone else, and we have been in a relationship for some time now. I can say things are very passionate...without all the dress up, rules, and he doesn't want me to call him "daddy"! I feel like I have the ability to express who I am, and I surely don't feel like a piece of meat...which only increases my desire to be close to this person and give him parts of me no one else can have...CONSENSUALLY!

Again, CONSENT! In the book and movie...she CONSENTED to the relationship! Granted, she never signed the papers, but she read the contract and knew what he expected of her...and she still walked right in to the relationship! Even the "punishment" that made her finally leave....she told him, "Well, then punish me!" She told him to do it, and then decided that she didn't like it, and that she wanted out. Some women like the intrigue of the story...and there are some who practice the type of relationship it describes...either as a dominant or as a submissive. Even then, it is CONSENTING!

What Donald Trump said is not just naughty words! What he described was forcing himself upon women. That is NOT CONSENT! THAT is what us women have a problem with! It is this idea that too many men have, much like my ex-husband, that a man can basically do whatever he wants to a woman...that she doesn't matter! Remember, one of Trumps lawyers has been noted as saying that a man cannot rape their spouse...in other words, it doesn't matter if a wife says she isn't in the mood, doesn't feel like sex for whatever reason...her husband can take her and she must submit regardless! This was the thinking of my ex-husband, and I had been told many times that it was wrong for me to deny him sex. It's the idea that simply saying "I do" gives blanket consent until divorce, and that is WRONG! A woman has the right to refuse sexual advances from ANY man at ANY TIME! It is her body, and she gets to decide if she wants to be grabbed or penetrated!

I don't normally get into these political things, but this one hits home way too much after living in the marriage I did. And guess what? It is no surprise that my ex-husband is a Trump supporter!!

3 Little Words

I never knew 3 little words could have such an impact...actually knocking the breath out of me! I've heard them before, I've said them before, but when he said them to me for the first time, I felt like I was hit by a tidal wave. It was in a good way! I knew when he said them, he meant them. The timing, the total lack of setup...it was just as innocent as if he had been saying those 3 little words to me for years....

I love you!

We just got through doing something completely not romantic...tending to every day life. I had just given him some food I brought for him that I cooked earlier...something I do all the time, and before we part, he says those 3 words.

And with 3 little words, I'm completely wiped out! I found myself just grinning uncontrollably, while at the same time unable to breath. I couldn't even think...I just kept hearing the words over and over in my mind....

I love you!

As simple and innocent as it was.

Completely feeling this today!