The results of yesterday's election are very disheartening! I've seen asked, "Did you expect women to vote for Clinton just because she is a woman?" Here is my answer to that.
I had hope that the women in this country had enough self-respect for themselves to NOT vote for a man who has demonstrated such a lack of respect for them! I lived 15...nearly 16...years with a man who expressed many of the same ideals as our President-elect! Here are some highlights of those years:
- I have been told, "I thought we had a RULE that you weren't allowed to wear anything to bed, unless it was that time of the month!"
- "You NEVER listen to me!" (And not intended to mean that I wasn't sympathetic to his feeling, that I didn't do as he said.)
- "You are my wife, and I should be able to grab you whenever I want!"
- If my now ex-husband had come home late in the middle of the night, he expected that he should be allowed to initiate sex with me, without first waking me up to see if I even wanted to!
- When I started defying him, and coloring my hair the way I wanted to, getting a tattoo, losing weight (he is the kind of man who likes them bigger), my now ex-husband started looking elsewhere, ultimately leaving me for another woman who had the same features I did before "waking up", and who was much more subservient to him!
This same man once handed me this book, and told me to read it:
Me? Obey? Him?
When I had a friend of mine return it to him with some stuff of his after the divorce (she worked with him), the comment my now ex-husband made was, "Well, maybe if she read it, we would still be married!"
THIS is why I am mad! I have worked my ass off to get where I am! I am not a kept woman...I don't need keeping! Now, I do have a special man in my life, and I am thankful to say that he sees me more as his best friend and his partner than someone he needs to take control over! I don't consider myself a feminist...I do still like if my guy pulls the chair out for me or opens a door...I like when he insists I walk on the inside instead of the street side, as a gentleman should. I fix meals for him, and he will clean up after. We go out, and we split the check. And sure...I don't wear bras, but I'm one of those women who is too small to really wear one, and they only become an uncomfortable burden for something that isn't really serving a purpose!
We still have too many women out there who believe it is okay to be treated like an object rather than a person! It breaks my heart! I don't care what the Christian agenda is (and I do consider myself a Christian)...the government has no right to tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body! Oh, she is looked down upon for having an abortion, but it is perfectly okay for a man to walk away from his responsibility when a child is created! Yes, I said it! "But there are laws..." Really? And that has solved the problem of fatherless children? Let me tell you about those "laws"! I had a court order that said my first husband was to spend X amount of time with my child every month/year, and that he was to pay $XXX in child support every month to help provide what that child needed. If he or I failed to follow that order (i.e., if I failed to present the child for said visitation), we were to be found in contempt of court and forced to pay fines and/or serve time. Guess what happened? He started cancelling out visitations with my child, giving one excuse after the other, and I was left to pick up the pieces of a crying child who only wanted to see his father! He also stopped paying his child support, and when I tried to get the court order enforced, I was basically told by the courts that there was really nothing that could be done, because they couldn't get him properly served, but yet I was more than welcome to pay money out of my own pocket for a private process server and ask for those monies to be paid back to me by my ex which a judge could order!! Yes, I laughed at them about that, and told them, "I can't get the man to pay me $100/month in child support that is court ordered, and you think that I can get him to pay me my court costs if the judge orders him to do so?!" So you see, if a woman wants to walk away from the responsibility by terminating the pregnancy (and don't give me the "it's different, it's murder" argument), she is deemed a terrible person who is just trying to escape the consequences of her actions, but not the man who walks away from said child after it is born!
Now, I'm not saying I would get an abortion. For myself, I'm pro-life...but I can't force my choices or opinions on others! Does anyone even remember that it was like before Roe v Wade? Let me refresh your memories a bit...a desperate woman is going to get an abortion whether it is legal or not!!! If you overturn Roe v Wade, you will be back to women having back-alley abortions and dying because they bled to death or contracted some terrible infection, and were afraid to go to the doctor for it because they knew they would be turned in for having an abortion! So, instead of still having dead babies, now we also have dead women!! Now, how Christian is that?! Just sayin'! And since I went there...what about the Christians' agenda to basically shut down Planned Parenthood because they provide abortions?! Guess what? Planned Parenthood is the only affordable means for womens' health for many women! You take away the means for women to gain access to birth control, you are going to have a whole lot more of those "back-alley" abortions on your hands! Seriously, you want to cut the number of abortions? Here are some tips:
1. Make birth control readily available to all who want it...and if that means handing it out for free, so be it!
2. Better sex education in schools, because really...the abstinence program just isn't going to cut it!
3. Hold men to the same standards with regards to bringing a child into this world as you are the women with your "anti-abortion" stance! It takes two to tango, baby! She didn't create that baby by sitting at home alone with her impure thoughts! Nope...so if you wouldn't let her walk away, don't let him do it, either! If more women actually believed that the man would step up and be a man, they wouldn't be so scared to bring a child into the world! I can't help but wonder what percentage of women who get an abortion do it because they simply "can't raise the child alone"!
Okay...I've beat that horse, so let's go on to the next. I'm tired of women putting themselves down! I'm guilty of it myself, because this society has it basically beat into us that we have to look a certain way to be beautiful!!! We have to be skinny, and our stomach has to be tight! We have to have big boobs AND a nice round ass! We are supposed to look like the women in the magazines, when really...thanks to Photoshop...even the women in the magazines don't look like the women in the magazines! I fight my own battle every day...like many women do! We all have something we don't like about ourselves. I had two kids, and I was way overweight for too long. I have stretch marks and saggy skin that I doubt will ever go away. I don't like it, and though I've worked my ass off to lose 80+ lbs...even though I wear clothes that are either a S or an XS...I still find myself looking in the mirror with disgust some days. Then, I have to snap myself out of it, and remind myself that I am beautiful...I have a wonderful man who, let's face it, has seen me naked many times and still wants me...as a partner and a lover! So who am I kidding, right?! But it is so very hard when you have people like our POTUS-elect! Men who have been literally caught rating women based on how they look! Sure, I get that everyone has their own idea of what attractive is, but that doesn't mean that someone else isn't beautiful because they don't fit what you find attractive! You might be surprised at what you find in someone who doesn't fit everything on your appearance checklist. You can't rate a person because of the way they look! I would seriously hate to see what rating I would get from POTUS-elect, seeing as I'm short, have no boobs, and have this left over skin from the weight loss! I'm not sure I would even rate on his scale! But I don't care, because I know I'm beautiful!
One thing that does scare me is all the advances made by women in this country, as well as those of minorities and LGBT+! I'm so afraid we are going to be pushed back into the dark ages of time, where hate reigns supreme! I've already touched on the comments made by POTUS-elect about women. There have also been so, so many things said about people of color and of other nationalities. We also know where both POTUS-elect and VPOTUS-elect stands on LGBT+ issues! Part of my problem as one who believes themself to be a Christian is all the hate toward LGBT+ and Muslims that so many Christians today spew! What about love? Seriously...WHAT ABOUT LOVE! I've read my Bible, and one thing that stands out crystal clear to me is that we are commissioned to LOVE! No...God DOES NOT hate the gays, Muslims, whatever...HE LOVES US ALL! So, how can the people...who claim to talk to God...be so hateful! They will stand in church and claim to have God's heart for this nation...for the world...but then turn right around and spew such hate! And people wonder why I don't go to church!
I feel a bit better getting all of that out, but I'm still scared to death! I hope I am wrong!