With everything going on in this country right now, I'm compelled to put something down in writing...thoughts that bump around in my head with everything I read.
I'm not a Republican....I'm not a Democrat. I don't consider myself a liberal or a conservative. I also don't consider myself a feminist. What I am is an independent woman of probably better than normal means (for the most part, though I'm still working through debt from my failed marriage...but I'm able to do so and still have a life). I am someone who believes in common sense and actually thinking...yes, I do consider myself to be rather intelligent...not in a conceited way, but just because I can recognize that I don't think like other people, and problem solving comes easy to me.
I apologize now if this gets long!
WOMEN'S RIGHTS
Like I said, I'm not a feminist. I am independent. This is mostly due to the fact that I learned by watching my mother's life growing up that you can't depend on a man! My dad is a good man...a great man! My stepdad is a good man, as well. Some of my mother's choices in between...um...not so much. It was these men who quickly taught me that I needed to make sure I could take care of myself! And it is a good thing I learned this lesson! My first husband was too busy drinking, smoking pot, and womanizing to help me with the household. Couldn't even get the SOB to pay a measly $100/month in child support after we divorced! Had I not already built a foundation to work off of, I would have been it trouble being a single mom to 2 kids!
My second husband wasn't as bad as the first. Yes, he still ended up cheating on me...a few times. Unlike my first husband, he actually did work, but he didn't have drive like I did. When it came to advancing in our careers over the 15 years we were together, I did so at a much faster pace than he did. I attribute this mostly to the fact that I stayed put! While he bounced from job to job looking for "satisfaction", I toughed it out and made the most of my job. I made one job move our entire marriage, and that was because I was recruited by another company, where I am still...11 years later. I also have my degree, while he dropped out of college after his first year, and never went back. I know he resented me for that. Through our entire marriage, I carried us financially (oh, he was good as spending and opening lines of credit, but again, wasn't getting the raises and promotions to cover them). When it came to stuff around the house, not only was I expected to do the cooking, cleaning, and dealing with the kids (the traditional woman tasks), but I was also the one who cut the grass, picked up trash from the yard, fixed things around the house, etc. I could ask him about a repair or work several times..."I'll get to it." It wasn't until I finally got tired of it not being done 2 MONTHS later and started doing it myself, that he would get up off that couch and cry that I didn't need him...that he said he would do it! I also handled all the finances...paying the bills, doing the taxes, etc.
At the same time, he EXPECTED me to fulfill his sexual desires on his every whim! He would complain if I didn't dress up for him in the bedroom. He would grab on me all the time, even when I protested. When I did protest, I was told something to the tune of we were married, and he could do what he wanted. When I lost a lot of weight, he used to get offended because I would not get a boob job "for him" (after I lost the weight, I went back to the A cups I had all through my younger years...my normal size). He even commented sometimes that my body was actually his, because we were married.
When we divorced, my second husband tried to claim that I stuck him with more debt...I mean obviously, because I was doing so much better than he was. Nope! I actually walked away with more debt! I just made more money that he knew I made (because I had to stop telling him about raises, as if he found out there was more money coming in, he would find a way to spend it), and I'm way better at budgeting that he is!
So yeah...now I live alone. I have a man in my life...one who is actually good with money...and has is shit together! I don't expect him to take care of me! When we go out, we typically split the bill in half, and never squabble about who got what and one person's meal cost more. Sometimes mine is more, sometimes his is more...doesn't matter! He holds my hand, walks on the street side of the sidewalk (many don't know that this is the gentlemanly thing to do), opens doors for me, etc. I'll cook something at home, and always put some aside and take it to him, and he will compliment me on the food later while he is eating it. We have managed to merge traditional roles with us both being independent, and this actually works very, very well as a partnership! He very much respects me, as I do him.
I share all this as the foundation of why I feel the way I do about women's rights (hey...already apologized for this being long). I don't believe that women should have more than men...we are not the lesser or greater sex! I DO believe that we are EQUAL! We should get equal pay for equal work. We should be treated with respect, not like sexual object or a piece of property! In a relationship/marriage, no one owns anyone! It should be viewed as a partnership! I expect that my health insurance should cover those things that women need, including birth control! If we are expected to protect ourselves, and the means to do so must involve a doctor visit or a prescription, then insurance sure as hell better cover it! I want affordable health care! I get it! Women need more things checked than guys, and some of these checks are a little on the pricey side. That doesn't mean that we should be denied access to these services. I want men to be held just as accountable to their children as women!! Any woman who has been to court trying to get their child's father to do their part knows this struggle well. It is so easy for a man to walk away from his kids, thus leaving the burden on the woman!
Sure, we have come a long way, but this current administration has me fearing backwards steps instead of forward...and for this reason I support women's rights! It also pains me that funding for Violence Against Women Grants may get cut this administration!
ENVIRONMENT AND FOOD SUPPLY
This is where some may play the hippie card on me. I feel very strongly about availability of nourishing and CLEAN food. I believe in sustainable farming. I believe in helping farmers produce the best crops possible for the population...crops free of chemicals. I believe in clean water supplies for the people. I believe in the outlawing of chemicals (dyes, preservatives, etc.) that have been proven to have harmful health effects. All of this means protecting the environment, as well! We have to protect our farmlands and our water supplies!
THIS is the problem I have with the Dakota pipeline, and why I am so upset that has been released to move forward! The builders can offer no guarantee that cracks will not emerge in the pipeline allowing oil to escape into the water supply that it will be routed under. This is especially important as earthquakes are happening more and more, and in areas not typically prone to them, due to fracking! Just look at Oklahoma. The main danger this area used to have to face was tornadoes. Last year, there were earthquakes in Oklahoma so strong they were felt down in Texas! If you look at earthquake prediction maps, you see that Oklahoma is now as likely to experience a severe earthquake as California!! This did not start happening until fracking in Oklahoma!
If you don't think we humans can adversely affect the environment, you are naive! I've actually heard some Christians (and I'm a non-practicing Catholic...so don't even get me started) argue that there is no way God would make it so easy for us to destroy the Earth. However, we have scientific proof that we are hurting the planet! It aches me that there are potential proposed budget cuts to the Department of Energy surrounding things such as research for renewable and clean energy which would reduce our dependence on foreign oil. The administration have also taken recent actions with regards to the EPA that are very concerning!
EDUCATION AND THE ARTS
Don't even get me started on Betsy Devos! This woman is NOT qualified to head up education! I can't help but feel this administration just wants to dumb down the population, and stomp out free thinking. Add to this proposed budget cuts for the arts...because the administration doesn't feel the arts are important. Forget that it has been scientifically proven that arts study opens pathways in the brain that would otherwise remain closed, enhancing a person's ability to learn and problem solve. This is why arts and science is often grouped together. Without the arts, we would not have advanced in science and technology as we have! The two go hand and hand.
If the administration wants to make America a greater place (I word it that way, because the other is up for trademark), you have to educate the people! An educated people are a strong people! The more educated people a country has, the stronger that country is. Hell, look at the domination of Japan in so many areas! Why are they so strong in technology and the likes? Because they value education HIGHLY! Why do you see so many Asians in this country in high tech and scientific fields? Because they come from a culture that values education highly! Education is essential! Oh, and guess what, most Asian children are also required by their parents to study the arts, because they get it!
EQUALITY
This is a big one for me! We need to put an end to racism and discrimination! I don't care what color your skin is, what religion you practice, who you desire as a sexual partner, if you are tall or short, curvy or slim....you are human, and I will love and respect you as such! The only way one can lose my respect is to disrespect me...and even then, that only applies to that particular person, and not any of the people groups they may be part of! I don't respect my ex husbands, but that is because they disrespected me. It isn't because they are men...it is because they personally wronged me!
And because I respect a person, doesn't mean that I condone what they do! I can respect that we will agree to disagree on many things. My respect does not have to mean that I give in to other people...that I'm weak. It means that I understand they have every right to live on this planet and be happy as I do. Now, granted, this does not apply to criminals who do harm to others. That is one way to lose my respect instantly! You harm another person, you deserve the justice that comes down on you! Can you be reformed? Can you repent? Possibly, but until then, you deserve the punishment that comes down!
But I believe in looking for the good in people. When I look at you, I don't see your skin, the clothes you are wearing. I look for how you hold yourself! Are you a person who is kind to others? Are you a person who can be depended on to be true to your word? These are the things that matter to me.
CONCLUSION
Again, I said this would be long! When I voted, these are the things I voted for! Yes, I voted 3rd party, because neither major party could match my values on most of my concerns. There are many who say that was a vote for the current administration, or that I threw away my vote. I have to disagree! If more people were actually brave enough to vote their true heart, we probably would not be in this boat today! People were bullied this election...some voted the way they did out of fear of not being accepted by their own family if they voted their own heart. Some didn't vote at all for similar reasons...it is easier to say you didn't vote than admit who you voted for! We need to stand up and take our country back! We need to be the land of the brave and the home of the free!