As I see these memes and stuff posted to my social media, I think I have discovered the problem with today's relationships. I don't think we value relationships like we used to!! We have totally changed the terminology in a way that degrades and abbreviates what a relationship should be.
For example:
"Fuck with" - Why are people referring to their boyfriends and girlfriends as someone they "fuck with"? In my day, if I was fucking with someone, I wasn't being serious! "No...I didn't mean that! I was just fucking with you!" Sorry, my boyfriend is not someone I "fuck with"! He is someone I love and cherish...someone who since meeting, I can't imagine my life without! His being in my life is a very serious thing, as I don't just let myself get close to anyone!
"Bae" - I mean...what the hell?! I know what it means...but why can't you just say what the person is to you? Sure, we all have nicknames for our partners...my boyfriend and I call each other "babe"...it is just something that is is more endearing than calling each other by name. It's something that shows that we are on a different level with each other than the rest of the world. But if posting about something he did or something we are doing together, I'm not going to abbreviate what he means to me?! I'm not going to say, "Look what bae got me for my birthday"! No, I'm going to say something like, "Look what that WONDERFUL man of mine got me for my birthday"! If I'm posting about date night, it's going to be something like, "Having a great time with this handsome guy"! I'm going o brag about what he is to me, not minimize it to 3 little letters!
And seriously, it is sad that we live in a day and age when you have to actually sit down and have "the talk" that you see the relationship as "exclusive". We live in a day where people are too busy looking for the next best thing, that they want to keep relationships open...and only be monogamous after "the talk"...than to go into a relationship from the get go thinking, "Okay, let's really get to know this person, and see where things go". Sure, my boyfriend and I had "the talk"...but only because you have to in this day and age, because you want to make sure that the other person is on the same page as you are! We were two weeks in when we had "the talk". But even before "the talk", it was already understood...we weren't seeing other people. Neither of us are the kind of people who have a little black book, so to speak, with booty call numbers. We were looking for that one person to connect with...the one who would become our best friend, and partner in crime!
We need to get back to old fashioned relationship values! I put up with a cheating spouse for way longer than I probably should have, because I believe in relationships! The woman he was cheating with when we split was not the first one....she was just the final straw! I forgave him completely the first time. The second time, I wanted to forgive complete...really tried...but twice burned, I kept wondering. Sure enough, he then cheated a third time, and I couldn't hold on any more to something that just wasn't! The guy I'm with now, I can truly say that whatever our relationship is, I just want him as my partner in life! I'm not in a rush to get married, though I would love nothing more than to wake up to him every morning. I love him and value him, and I know a relationship is like a plant that needs to be nurtured to grow. It's not something you can force...and hearts are not something you play...or fuck...with. He is not just some abbreviation...he is so much more to me than words can even express!
And I think this whole thing bleeds into how we treat each other in general. I mean, if we are not letting ourselves truly connect and love a person who is supposed to be a partner, how can we expect to try to connect and show love and respect to anyone else at even a lesser level? If our mate is just someone we "fuck with"...what is our neighbor...or friend...that person you see crying in the store because they are buying an outfit for a funeral they never expected to have to attend?! If your mate is just someone you "fuck with"....there is no room for compassion for anyone else!