Let me start out saying, I'm not quitting dance. I've simply changed course. I discovered a teacher who is really teaching me...not throwing choreo at me and expecting me to master it in 55 minutes. I've gone to the basics...things I've never learned before. This new teacher doesn't hesitate to correct me, with either verbal or physical queues. She will put my arms in the correct position, turn my hips the right way, etc. She explains the muscles involved, and where I should be concentrating for various skills. It is a long process for me, but I'm slowly getting it!
I had to go outside of my "home" studio to find this. Sadly, my home studio stopped being "fun". This is what led me to re-evaluating...I mean, what did I really want from dance, and what kind of dancer did I want to be? If I was no longer having fun, if I was no longer FEELING dance, what had changed?
After reflecting, I realized that there were a few key things I wasn't getting from my studio.
First of all, I wasn't feeling the music selections and choreo any longer. The instructors were moving more and more toward "sexy" dancing to songs that I truly didn't like! (Sorry, I just don't see what Cardi B has to offer in terms of music, and there is no real musicality to her stuff.) I get it...this brings people to class, because it attracts a broader group of skills (from no skills who just want to learn things for the club to higher skilled dancers just wanting fun routines). But I wanted to be a BETTER dancer. I wasn't just there to have fun! Twerking isn't my thing at all...I personally don't see why so many think it looks sexy, because I actually think it looks stupid...but I digress.
Next, there have been new folks coming to the studio who do not get the concept of "dance under yourself". This actually does a lot to ruin the experience! When I'm trying to learn choreo, I don't want to have to be worried about avoiding people who simply are too into it to realize they need to use a smaller space in a full class. I know how to dance under myself when I need to, and I expect others (especially folks who claim to have been in high school dance squads and such) to know how to stay in their own space. It ruins the experience for me if I'm spending more time avoiding people than actually dancing.
And finally, the instructors who actually taught skills have left the studio, and no one does this any more. I don't feel like anyone is actually trying to make anyone better. They obviously have favorites (and sadly, I've always felt this), and these same people get all of the attention. As my new teacher said, "...and you give them your money!" I think that is when I started re-evaluating things! It was about 3 classes in when I was telling her what I've been getting from her class (i.e., the correction and explanation of how to actually do things correctly), and how I wasn't getting that from the studio I had been at for years..."...and you give them your money!" That hit me hard!! I was paying these people twice as much per month as this new teacher for them to not really TEACH!
So I haven't lost my passion for dance, I've just decided what kind of dancer I want to be. I don't want to be that twerking club dancer. I don't want to be that person who is always positioned at the back of the stage for performances because I'm not as skilled as the others (and EVERYONE who wants to perform gets to perform). I'd rather not perform at all and take the time for someone to teach me, than just be thrown on a stage with no real feedback, and lackluster choreo...because the instructor "dumbs down" the choreo so everyone gets it. I WANT TO DANCE!