It has been a while since I just shared. The last year has seen my life as I knew it turned upside down and sideways! After 15 years, the person I thought loved me left me for another woman. It wasn't the first time he cheated, and I see now that I should have never forgiven him the first time. Hind sight is always 20/20.
What has this experience done for me? For one, when I look back at the last 15 years, I find myself wondering how I put up with this person for so long! He made me less of me! You shouldn't be with someone who doesn't appreciate you for who you are, and who tries to make you something different! I learned that I need to be proud of me...that I don't need to change for anyone! If their happiness is dependent on me being unhappy, then I don't need them in my life!
When I look back, I see my ex did me a favor by leaving me for someone else. He says that God told him to make the move he made. There are people who say, "Really? God told you to cheat on your wife?" There is a part of me that really thinks it is possible that God did tell him to choose her over me. Maybe my ex was being told to get the hell out of the way, as God had a new plan for me after seeing that my ex was not going to love me in a way a man should love a woman. I think this because the man I have now is more than I could ever imagine. This man looks into my eyes like I am the most amazing woman in the world. He tells the world about me, like he is more than proud to have me in his life! He appreciates me for me, and doesn't make any suggestions about how I could change this or that. At the same time, I look at him like I've never looked at any other man. There is just something about him...his smile, the way he smells...he just feels like home!
I share this because I know there are others who have gone through some bad times, and you may feel like life just can't go on. I'm here to tell you to hold your head up, and try to find the positive out of the situation...and wait for the gift you are about to get, because you will get much better than what was taken from you!
I also share this...I don't believe anyone who comes into your life is an accident. They serve a purposed for whatever season you are in. Maybe there is something you need to learn...maybe you need to grow. In my case, I look at my ex and think about how I needed someone willing to be a dad to my kids when I met him, and he fit that bill. Maybe the one in my life now is meant to be my life partner, but he never wanted children...so if we met earlier, it just wouldn't have worked! Timing is everything!